Mental Health Awareness Month
“You can’t judge a book by its cover.” We all grew up hearing this old adage; what did it mean to you? For me, it meant that you can’t always tell what someone is going through just by looking at them, and it’s important to not make assumptions and lead with kindness. Someone once shared a simple but powerful mantra with me that has stuck ever since: Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true? To this day, I try to ask myself those three questions before I speak. It’s a small pause that helps me respond with more thoughtfulness and compassion.
Mental health struggles often aren’t visible. People walk around carrying anxiety, depression, trauma, grief, and deep exhaustion while still managing to show up to work, smile in social settings, or make small talk like everything is fine. They’ve learned to mask their pain because our society doesn’t always make room for emotional honesty. Many of us become experts at hiding what hurts just to get through the day.
That’s why it’s so important to remember: just because someone looks okay on the outside doesn’t mean they are okay on the inside. You never truly know what kind of battle someone might be fighting behind the scenes. For some, just getting out of bed, answering a text, brushing their teeth, or showing up somewhere takes an incredible amount of effort.
Mental health challenges don’t always look dramatic. They’re not always loud or obvious. They can show up as irritability, withdrawal, forgetfulness, lack of energy, or even fake cheerfulness. The truth is, many people are doing their best to hold it together, even when they’re quietly falling apart. As we manage these experiences, we do the best we can with what we know. And like Maya Angelou once said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
That’s why our words, our tone, and the way we treat others matter so much. A harsh comment, impatient gesture, or careless reaction can feel heavier than we realize. On the other hand, a kind word, a little patience, or a moment of genuine connection can give someone just enough strength to get through a tough day.
Kindness is free, but its impact can be life-changing. It doesn’t take much to offer someone a little grace—to choose empathy over judgment, compassion over frustration. And those small acts of kindness? They can create a ripple effect. They can remind someone they’re not alone. They can even be the reason someone decides to keep going when they’re feeling hopeless.
Mental health is just as important as physical health, even if you can’t see it. So the next time you interact with someone—whether it’s a loved one, a coworker, or a stranger—try to keep in mind that they might be carrying more than you know. You may not be able to fix their pain, but your kindness might make their load a little lighter.
Nora Fabris, LMHC, LADCI, LPC
If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 1-800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.
You are not alone.